To Give is to Receive

When we give to others, we sometimes give with the expectation that the person will return the favor to us or give back what we have given in the same way that we have given. We sometimes become disappointed, hurt or even angry that a person we feel we have given so much to fails to give back to us in the same measure. The truth is we rarely receive back exactly what we give. It doesn’t quite work out this way because it’s not meant to. The purpose for giving is not with intent to receive. The purpose for giving is to share what we have with those who may be in the most need of what we have to offer at the given moment.What we don’t realize is, at the moment we find ourselves in need of a certain thing, it does not mean that the person we have helped is the best person to help us in return at that moment.

However, if you have done good things to help others, to share with others, the best person to help you will be there for you. We often miss this blessing because it is not the person we think it should be. It may not be your parents. It may not be your children. It may not be your significant other. It may not be your best friend. It may be someone you don’t even know. We are so reluctant to accept the kindness of a stranger. Therefore, we often miss our blessings and fail to receive the good that the universe has returned to us for our good deeds.

You are here to help others, so others might help others, which at times, may include you. Sometimes you may help people who will never be able to help you. That is okay. They too will be called upon to help those who they can best help. How they choose to respond, will be their karma.

Priority Number One

Sometimes our days and nights seem to go by at the speed of light. We live in a very busy and sometimes hectic world. Many demands are placed on our precious time. Most of us have obligations and commitments to work, family, spouses, significant others and friends, with importance being in that order for some of us. I am not judging what should be of first importance to anyone. Each person has to decide that for himself. With such busy schedules, it is not difficult to fall short on time for any of these obligations. A lot of people are falling really short on time spent with their spouses or significant others.One of the top reasons why couples break up is because they stopped spending quality time together. Some couples actually live in the same house and don’t see or talk to each other for days. When I say talk to one another, calling to ask the other person to pick up the kids from soccer practice because you have to work late doesn’t count. When you stop making an effort to spend quality time alone with your spouse or significant other, there are usually other issues behind this. This is only a symptom of a bigger problem between two people. When your spouse or significant other is no longer a priority in your life, there is problem. Work is important. The kids are important. Your friends are important. Your mama is important. But when the man/lady in your life is always last on the list of what’s important, perhaps he/she is not so important.

We all have to make choices in our lives, but the person you sleep with (or whom you’re supposed to be sleeping with) cannot and should not always be the last choice. Sometimes, it is not always deliberate. Sometimes it is simply a way of thinking. Many of us have been conditioned to think that you cannot say no to your mother, you cannot say no to the boss and you cannot say no to the kids. We know that it is okay to say no to the friends, but often we don’t. The reason being is that we sometimes feel that our mates will be more understanding about rescheduling plans or being told to wait until later than our friends.

Most people who have a hard time saying no to others are usually people pleasers. People pleasers usually try to make choices that will cause them the least confrontation. Our mates usually give us the least problem and usually are big on forgiveness, but asking your mate to take a back seat one too many times can leave him feeling unimportant and neglected.

Let me share this with you…..you can say no! You can say no to your sister. You can say no to your mother. You can even say no to the boss and the kids. You have to be the one to set your priorities and boundaries. Besides, if you really do care about your mate, do you really always want to disappoint her? Quality time with your mate is important for building and maintaining a loving and healthy relationship. Most importantly, you have to be the one to let others know that your mate is important to you.